Personal statement

Everyone is against me- again. The rain is pouring heavily outside the big classroom window. I thought that the situation would get better as they started to accept my choice, but they did not. Their loud laughter, their stupid jokes and their judging voices echo in my head.  A couple of months so I have gotten used to it by now.

January 2016. I am 15 years old. A time I remember as stressful and painful. The too strong coffee to force me awake during the nights… desperately studying, that would describe the time well.

I was in my last year of elementary school and the competition for the highest grades was not only clear but also tangible. The Swedish School system differs a lot from the American.  The decision as to which high school to attend is of huge importance to us. However, it should not be considered a hard one, at least not if you have enough high grades to attend one of the four most prestigious schools in Stockholm. They are all known for their impressive gothic architecture and their decades long history.

Initially the decision of what school I would attend the upcoming fall did not concern me. I would do as anyone else in my situation; attend one of the schools with the beautiful architecture.  My only concern was which program, either the natural science or economics, that would most profit my future plans.

However, somewhere in this confusion, I reached a point where I wanted a change. Challenging the expectations that others had for me did not scare me. Through attending a completely different school to what my teacher and parents expected, I would get the change I was desperately looking for.

Of course everyone would think that I had lost my mind, but I had another perspective. This point was the turning point of my life, the place from where I started a journey towards creating my own character. Tired of the environment I was about to leave, tired of the environment I was about to enter,  I decided not to follow the herd. Another three years of pressure, status and competition surrounded by the same people did not interest me. I decided to independently go my own way and attend a small, unknown school with modern architecture and a ten year long history.

August 2016. Filled with fear that they had been right all this time, I entered a classroom in Metapontum. Even though I struggled to hold back my tears, somehow in that grey classroom with the red curtains, I also felt so right. The kind faces with strains from all over the world interested me.

But the greatest advantage in attending this small, unknown school, was not my new friends nor the attention I got from my teachers, it was the strength I demonstrated in making the decision. With everyone against me, the only option I had was to be confident, independent and determined. And so  I was. Through my life-changing decision, I realized qualities about myself that I did not know I could develop.

Two years have passed since I entered that grey classroom for the first time, filled with fear. Today I enter the same grey-colored classroom everyday feeling proud for the 15-year old Matilda who in solitude struggled and chose to make her own determined way. To her, I would like to say- I know that you are fearing, I know everyone is judging, but please endure this because it will be worth it.